trying.

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
greyyourwarden
psychoticallytrans

I think one of the most profound forms of love is "I'll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I'll try it."

It's a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay's plasticity. It's a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom's favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It's a girlfriend who says "Yes, I'll go with you" and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It's a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out "Wait, wait, I know we're here for the exhibit, but I haven't been here! Slow down!"

It's being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.

multimousenette
animentality

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marzipanandminutiae

so, let's talk about this. because it's not quite true

Barbie was not the only fashion doll on the market (much less the only one to ever exist, a worrying claim from the first Barbie movie trailer). Dolls like Madame Alexander's Cissy, Ideal's Miss Revlon, and Uneeda's Dollikin were all available before Barbie's 1959 release

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While Mattel would love for you to believe that Barbie was the first, Cissy- released in 1955 -would like a word.

Ruth Handler might well have SAID that she "noticed the only dolls on the market were babies," but she and her husband ran an existing toy company; Barbie was not Mattel's first project. She 100% would have been aware of the other fashion dolls available. In short: if she said that, she was...almost certainly stretching the truth.

There was indeed pushback against fashion dolls from cultural commentators who thought little girls should only play with baby dolls, to encourage Maternal Instincts(TM)...but that dates at least back to the French fashion dolls of the 1860s-1890s, which were accused of making little girls "worldly" in magazines of the day. It wasn't a new idea developed especially in response to Barbie.

What set Barbie apart from other fashion dolls was twofold:

  1. She was smaller and cheaper. Cissy retailed for like $13 in just her lingerie, which was quite pricey for a doll at the time (Barbie cost $3 originally), and stood 20" tall. Miss Revlon was similarly large and unwieldy for a child to carry around. As I understand it, Handler noticed her daughter's fondness for movie star paper dolls and sought to create a 3-dimensional version.
  2. She had an adult face. As you can see above, Cissy may have had breasts, but she was also quite baby-faced. Barbie, with her arched brows and narrow cheeks, looked more like an adult woman in her facial proportions.

Still unusual! Just not unique

But I'm not really here to split hairs about which was the actual first 1950s fashion doll. My main thesis is this: Barbie was NOT originally meant to be empowering.

...or disempowering. Or anything but a fashion doll for which a businesswoman trying to make money felt there was a niche.

Yes, she had a career at the beginning- as a fashion model. Hardly a job many men were trying to keep women out of. The first non-modeling careers she had were ballerina, flight attendant, and registered nurse, female-dominated fields that nobody was challenging women's right to pursue.

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(Original Barbie box. If you can't read the text, it says "Barbie(T.M.) Teen Age Fashion Model.")

That's not to say that Handler was completely without deeper thoughts on Barbie's place in the world. She was adamant that, while Barbie might model a bridal gown, she would never actually marry Ken to prevent her from being tied down as a wife and mother. And certainly later in her life, she got onboard with the "girls can do anything!" messaging of later Barbie generations.

But to say that Barbie was intended to be #empowering or make a statement from the beginning is just revisionist history that's bound to leave people disappointed. I mean, what's Twitter OP going to think when they discover that an early Barbie babysitting set came with a little book called "How to Lose Weight" that simply said "Don't eat!" on the back? Handler was still president of the company at the time- how does that fit with this starry-eyed vision of her creating an empowering doll for little girls?

Putting Barbie on a pedestal is going to lead to just as rude an awakening as casting her in the "worthless bimbo doll" role.

nuka-rockit
xenosaurus

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

thelittleblackfox

Also drink water and eat a plant

liz-squids

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

  • keep on not working for startups
  • sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again
  • it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be
  • related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive
  • knees are bastards too
  • don't even get me started on ankles
  • there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry
  • one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you
  • on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about
  • never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up
covington-shenanigans

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

  • "loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on
  • this will happen incrementally - be patient
  • along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it
  • no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.
  • whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup
  • stretch regularly - your future self will thank you
  • at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced
  • this will be infuriating and annoying
  • otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much
  • at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.
  • you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care
  • but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant
  • your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for
  • get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine